Post by sparacus on Apr 23, 2014 15:30:10 GMT -5
The Reverend Allsop sat all alone at the vicars' monthy gathering in the Bishop's house looking depressed. Eventually the vicar from the neighbouring parish noticed this and went up to him:
"You look really down Nathaniel. What's the matter?"
"Its my Church roof. Its leaking again and some thieves have been pinching the lead again. The repair bill will run into thousands. I've asked the congregation for donations but they're too mean to give more than a few pounds in total" the Rverend Allsop replied. The other vicar grinned:
"Oh not to worry Nathaniel. I have the solution to your problem here. You can borrow this."
The second vicar handed the Reverend Allsop a gold watch on a chain. He stared at it puzzled:
"I don't understand. How will this help?" he asked. The other vicar grinned.
"Hypnotism dear boy. I have the same problem a few years back when the Church spire was falling down. So I took out this watch, swung it in front of the congregations' eyes and they were soon in an hypnotic state. Then I asked them for the donations and sure enough they all emptied out their wallets into the collection box as they left the church."
The Reverend Allsop excitedly took the watch and smiled:
"Great idea. I'll give it a try on Sunday!"
A month later, at the next vicars' meeting, Reverend Allsop sat all alone looking more depressed than before. The other vicar saw him and went across:
"Hello Nathaniel. How did the hypnotism go?"
Reverend Allsop angrily gave him his watch back.
"Terrible. You can have this wretched thing back. I was halfway through my sermon when I took out the watch, as you said, and swung it before their eyes. After a short while their eyes started following it and they were clearly under."
"I don't understand. It worked then" the second vicar said, puzzled.
"Yes but at that point the wretched watch came off its chain, fell on the floor and rolled all the way down the aisle. I said "sh@t" and it took me all week to clean the church out."
"You look really down Nathaniel. What's the matter?"
"Its my Church roof. Its leaking again and some thieves have been pinching the lead again. The repair bill will run into thousands. I've asked the congregation for donations but they're too mean to give more than a few pounds in total" the Rverend Allsop replied. The other vicar grinned:
"Oh not to worry Nathaniel. I have the solution to your problem here. You can borrow this."
The second vicar handed the Reverend Allsop a gold watch on a chain. He stared at it puzzled:
"I don't understand. How will this help?" he asked. The other vicar grinned.
"Hypnotism dear boy. I have the same problem a few years back when the Church spire was falling down. So I took out this watch, swung it in front of the congregations' eyes and they were soon in an hypnotic state. Then I asked them for the donations and sure enough they all emptied out their wallets into the collection box as they left the church."
The Reverend Allsop excitedly took the watch and smiled:
"Great idea. I'll give it a try on Sunday!"
A month later, at the next vicars' meeting, Reverend Allsop sat all alone looking more depressed than before. The other vicar saw him and went across:
"Hello Nathaniel. How did the hypnotism go?"
Reverend Allsop angrily gave him his watch back.
"Terrible. You can have this wretched thing back. I was halfway through my sermon when I took out the watch, as you said, and swung it before their eyes. After a short while their eyes started following it and they were clearly under."
"I don't understand. It worked then" the second vicar said, puzzled.
"Yes but at that point the wretched watch came off its chain, fell on the floor and rolled all the way down the aisle. I said "sh@t" and it took me all week to clean the church out."