Alternate Series 6: Episode 3: "DEADLY SABBATH"

OK folks, here is part two of this dark Doctor Who classic:

"DEADLY SABBATH" Part 2


Amy stares at the picture of Jed and the caption underneith:
"It says that Jed Vacant is the charismatic and reclusive frontman of 'The Happening'. How could he be around in 2011 and still the same age?"
"Perhaps its YOUR Jed's son!" Rory sharply chips in. Amy turns round angrily:
"No it isn't. Its the same guy Rory, everything about him is the same. And he isn't my Jed, stop being jealous. You're the only man in my life." Rory mutters something and ignores her. Meanwhile Nick has also been skimming through the papers and he looks up:
"Hey, never mind all that, what about all this stuff about another singer disappearing?" he says.
"What are you on about?" Amy snaps back.
"This: *reading aloud from the Daily Mail* :
Police are continuing to investigate the disappearance of X Factor winner Wayne Grimwell however it was revealed last night that there are no clear leads. This comes only weeks after teenage pop sensations Sharon and Stacey Brown vanished from their London apartment after returning from a short tour of South America and a month after the disappearance of young Canadian singer Julian Crieber. A spokesman for X Factor supremo Simon Cowell expressed sympathy for Grimwell's mother who was hoping that her son's royalties would help pay off her mortgage."
Its all over the red tops as well, six pages of it in the Sun!"
"Who cares?" Amy replies. However the Doctor is concerned:
"Hush Pond! Nick is right, these disappearances cannot be just coincidences. However you are right as well in that I totally believe you about this Jed character. Could there be a connection I wonder?"
"Don't hush me! However thanks for the vote of confidence" Amy replies.
"So what are we going to do about all of this?" Nick asks. The Doctor frowns:
"I think we need to investigate this from the inside. Inside the music business I mean."
"Er how?" Rory asks.
"We need to become pop stars ourselves!" the Doctor replies, grinning.

A short while later the TARDIS lands in London and the Doctor strides out grinning, followed by a bemused TARDIS team.
"What do you mean become pop stars ourselves? This is daft" Amy shouts after him. The Doctor laughs:
"Just trust me. We need to be able to move in the same circles as these people who are vanishing and also try to find out about this Jed person. Becoming pop artists is the perfect subterfuge."
"So where are we going to now?" Rory asks.
"We're going to pay a visit to my old friend the respected pop impressario Jonathan King. If anyone knows how to turn us into successful artists then he does. I rang ahead and booked us an appointment before we set off."
The Doctor and the team arrive at King's office and are ushered in .
"Hi Doctor, long time no see. What can I do for you?" King says(played by himself), an odd, lopsided grin on his face.
"Jonathan, I want you to turn us into pop stars so that we can investigate these disappearances from the inside. Oh and do you know anything about this Jed Vacant?"
"Jed Vacant is nothing to do with me. I don't produce indie artists and 'The Happening' are completely out of the normal pop loop. However what I can do is turn you lot into a successful mainstream act."
"How? None of us can sing" Amy snaps.
"I do have some musical ability. I play piano, flute and some violin" Nick comments. King smiles at him:
"What a delightful young man. However you will not be playing on any of your records. We will use session musicians. The public don't care about whether you can play or not, what they want is attractive people to drool over. I suggest that you*looking at Amy* be the lead singer. That will appeal to the lads, especially if we shorten that skirt even more."
"But I can't sing!" Amy says.
"The audience won't be listening to your voice, they'll be looking at your inner thighs. I'll write and produce your songs.*looking at the Doctor* you can pretend to play guitar and *looking at Nick* you can pretend to be on bass. *looking at Rory* and you're on drums".
"What shall we call the band?" The Doctor asks. King laughs:
"Something short and memorable. How about, "Bonk"!

A few weeks later and Bonk are number one in the download charts with their first hit, "Baby I Need Your Love Thang". King has secured an appearance by the band on the new late night Channel 4 music show "Even Later" presented by Jonathan Ross and featuring an eclectic mix of both mainstream pop, indie bands and old veteran artists. As they arrive in the TARDIS, Amy is nervous:
"Do we have to do this Doctor?" The Doctor grins:
"Oh come on, enjoy it. You know that 'The Happening' are also on the show. This is your chance to confront Jed Vacant."
They go into the building and the Doctor indulges in smalltalk with Jonathan Ross while veteran rockers Status Quo rehearse in the main studio. Amy becomes even more nervous:
"I need the bathroom" she says. Rory and Nick dance around in their dressing room playing air guitar and air drums while Amy looks for the loos. As she turns a corner she feels a hand on her shoulder. She spins round and stares into the face of Jed Vacant:
"I told you I would come for you" he says.........


..............to be continued.

K folks, here is the fourth part of this Doctor Who Series 6 episode:

"DEADLY SABBATH" Part 4

The Doctor and Nick are about to go after Rory however a production manager calls them over:
"Hey, where are you lot going? Get back on set. Wossy needs to interview you while 'The Happening' get ready to perform." Jonathan King claps his hands:
"Even more publicity! Go on then, do as the man says...."
The Doctor and Nick go back on set where Jonathan Ross is telling an anecdote about his mate Russell Brand and a swedish call-girl to kill time. He spins round:
"And now folks we have an interview with two members of the up and coming pop sensations Bonk. And you are...*points the mike at the Doctor*"
"Er.. I'm John... John Smith and this here is Nick our bass player".
"John Smith? John Smith *feigned exasperation* rather a dull name for a lead singer isn't it?"
"Well Jonathan Ross is hardly the most exciting name in the world" the Doctor replies. Ross laughs it off.
"So tell me, John Smith, how do Bonk plan to follow up the first single?" The Doctor shrugs and Nick steps in to answer:
"Well we have an album in the pipeline and our manager Mr King has arranged for us to tour......." Ross interupts him by yawning loudly and the audience burst out laughing.
"Very interesting...not. Anyway folks its time for the Happening. And they've promised us a weal treat. Give it up for... the Happening!"

The audience cheer as Jed Vacant and his band of long-haired , leather clad young rockers start to play their song which starts with a 'Stairway to Heaven' style acoustic intro before the heavy riffing kicks in:

"Dark Lord"

The midnight hour is close at hand,
The Samhain fires are burning bright,
Witches dance as swords advance,
And pierce the chilling moonlit night
Amid the mad, entrancing scene
The cup is poured, the demons rise,
The armies march with shields high,
To chants recanted by the wise.

He is coming, he is coming
The Dark Lord will rise to walk the earth......


As he sings the chorus Jed walks of set for a moment and returns with a dazed Rory who is blindfolded with his arms tied. Jed throws hin to the floor:

Death will come to all who wail,
The Dark Lord comes to walk the earth.

Jed pulls out a knife and raises it above Rory. The audience gasp in horror and the Doctor rushes onstage and grabs Jed's hand, knocking the knife out of it. Jed laughs:
"Hey man its a joke, a stunt. The knife isn't real..." Jonathan Ross picks up the knife and presses its blunt, plastic blade which slides into the handle.
"He's wight folks its just a plastic one. Looks like Bonk can't take a joke". The audience boo the Doctor and throw bottles at him. He and Nick help Rory to his feet and they run off set. Jed Vacant laughs.

Off set, Rory is fuming:
" We should get that bastard arrested. What the hell has he done to Amy?" The Doctor frowns:
"We can't prove that he's done anything to her and all we can accuse him of is roughing you up. No we need to be clever about this. Nobody seems to know anything about Jed Vacant or where he actually lives when he's not on the road." As the Doctor speaks, Jonathan King bustles up grinning:
"I think I can help you there. I've someone important I want you guys to meet..." He leads the Doctor, Rory and Nick to the bar where they see to their surprise......


......Ozzy Osbourne! Ozzy has just ordered a mineral water.
"Hey man its ¤¤¤¤ing good to meet you" he says. The Doctor shakes his hand:
"Splendid to meet you too Ozzy. My companion Amy is a major fan".
"Thats ¤¤¤¤ing great man, thats ¤¤¤¤ing great. I hear from Jonathan here that you want to know about Jed Vacant and the Happening. They're ¤¤¤¤ing ¤¤¤¤e man. Not a ¤¤¤¤ing patch on Sabbath and they're stealin' all our old riffs."
"Mr Osbourne, do you know where Jed Vacant lives when he's not on the road?" Nick asks.
"Yeah I ¤¤¤¤in do . He owns a ¤¤¤¤in massive country pile in Cornwall that he bought off Robert Plant. Its ¤¤¤¤ing ¤¤¤¤e man. Sharon wanted us to buy it and I said no way am I livin' in that ¤¤¤¤ing dump *pulling a crumpled bit of paper out of his pocket* here's its address." The Doctor grins and dances around a bit:
"This is great. Its splendid to meet you Mr Osbourne and you may just have saved Amy Pond's life. *To Rory and Nick* I suspect Amy is right now on her way to Cornwall. And thats where we are going.............


............... to be continued.

OK people: here is part 6 of this popular story:

"DEADLY SABBATH": Part 6

Bonk and Aphrodite's Wardrobe perform several songs with the Doctor, Rory and Nick attempting to give the impression of singing along without knowing the words. Eventually the Doctor gets bored and surrupticiously ushers Nick and Rory offstage leaving Peregrine Ashfordly-Hammill singing a cover version of Galaxie 500's 'Blue Thunder'.
"Its time we went to Woolleton Russett and rescued Amy" the Doctor exclaims eccentrically. As he does so, Jonathan King approaches with Louis Walsh.
"Er why have you left the stage? That joint performance with Aphrodite's Wardrobe will do wonders for your credibility" King exclaims.
"That was a terrific performance" Louis Walsh gushingly adds, winking knowingly at Rory. The Doctor dances a llittle jig:
"*grinning* Can't stop and talk, we're off to save Amy". Louis Walsh frowns:
"Oh boys, you disappoint me. Disappoint me greatly."

A short time later the TARDIS lands in the grounds of Vacant's mansion. The Doctor and the others creep out and hide in the bushes. In the distance they see Vacant and some other people dancing round a bonfire within a rather sorry looking recreated miniture stonehenge type stone monument. Rory winces:
"How Spinal Tap" he exclaims. Nick nods in agreement as he notices someone among the dancers:
"Thats Amy!" he exclaims. Rory doesn't stop to think and he rushes out of the bushes:
"Amy Amy, its ok we're here!" The Doctor and Nick sigh and follow. Jed Vacant walks towards them laughing:
"You have come... just as we expected..." Amy sidles up to him:
"The Dark One will be pleased Jed" she says. Rory looks perplexed:
"Amy... what has happened to you?"
"She is one of us now. We serve the Dark One together" Vacant shouts, swigging from a bottle of red wine.
"The game is now over" he adds.
"What game?" The Doctor asks.
"The game of the hunted leading the hunter. We convinced you that Amy was in danger in order to lure you here. It is our most ernest belief that we need to give the dark one the most acceptible sacrifice in our power. A young girl is ok, but not nearly as acceptable as the right kind of male" Vacant states.
"What do you mean, right kind of male?" Rory asks.
"The last of the Time Lords" Vacant shouts, pointing at the Doctor. Out of the bushes run hoards of heavy metal types with long hair and Bruce Dickinson type looks who grab the Doctor, Amy and Rory. They are dragged to the stone circle where inside a woman (played by Bjork) is reciting incantations as black robed figures chant in old English.
"Initiate the preliminary sacrifices" Vacant yells.
Two chickens are brought to the altar and the woman chops their heads off with a cleaver. She dips her hands in the blood and wipes them over the Doctor's face.
"Charming. I think we can safely say that you're not what you call a lady" the Doctor exclaims. The woman hisses like a cat. Then the crazed onlookers drag an indie girl to the altar (played by Peaches Geldof) and strip her top off. The woman with the cleaver feels the girl's breasts. Rory nudges Nick:
"Hey some hot lesbo action". Nick frowns:
"This is no time for flippancy Rory, this is real" he replies. The woman raises the cleaver over the girl's head however Rory and Nick pull away from their greasy captors and rush forward. Rory jumps on the altar and kicks the cleaver out of the woman's hand. The indie girl runs off, her breasts bouncing. The heavy metal types overpower them again and Jed Vacant steps forward.
"Enough of this time-wasting. Lets have the real sacrifice". The Doctor is stripped topless and thrown over the altar. One of the crowd brings forward a massive ghetto blaster and switches it on. Iron Maiden's "Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter" blares out as Jed Vacant approaches the Doctor with a knife. He lifts the knife over the Doctor's smoothe, glistening chest......................

.................. to be continued.