Post by sparacus on Jan 6, 2013 11:38:56 GMT -5
Ok folks, as promised, here is my synopsis of "The Snowmen" as it should have been ie as a tense storyin the style of the best of the classic series:
THE SNOWMEN
London in the 1880s. The gaslights shine through the dank fog as a carriage rumbles through the dark streets of London's East End. A voice from within the carriage tells the driver to stop. Out steps the Professor (played by Richard E Grant). He looks around before taking up his medical bag and walking through the grim side streets. He sees a prostitute swigging fromr a bottle of gin in a doorway:
"Ere Mister, you looking for a nice girl?" she asks the Professor. The Professor walks towards her, lifts a long knife from out of his bag and stabs her........"
Meanwhile, elsewhere in London, the Helmswoth family are enjoying Christmas. Ernest Helmsworth is a successful Victorian businessman and the children have a nice garden to play in. They are outside playing in the snow when suddenly three snowmen grow up out of the snow, with angry eyes and dark mouths full of teeth. Little George Helmsworth screams as a snowman sinks its teeth into him and swallows him whole while his sister Emily faints and is eaten by another snowman.....
The TARDIS lands in Whitechapel and out steps the Doctor. He is sad at the departure of the Ponds and walks through the dank steets looking at police posters pinned to the walls asking for information to help catch 'Jack the Ripper'. Suddenly he spies something lying at the side of the streets. He walks up and sees that itis the body of a woman... horribly mutilated.
Later, the Doctor is at the police station giving a statement. The police sergeant comes across as inept:
"This is the last thing I need, another ruddy jezabel found done in. Who cares about them. And then theres these kids disappearing as well. Little urchins must 'ave just run away, yet I'm supposed to do something about it." The Doctor is disgusted:
"Look here man, its your job to do something about it. That poor woman had been ripped to shreds and you should be asking yourself why it is that she had to sell herself just to survive. And could you tell me exactly what children have been vanishing?"
"Ere don't get snooty with me or I'll bung yer in the cells. There 'ave been nine or ten kids go missin'recently. Last ones were the Helmswoth kids in Tite Street. Number 42. I says they've run away to to the circus or summat".
The Doctor shakes his head and determines to pay a visit to Tite Street. As he in leaving the station, he sees a young policeman ushering an older man into the building:
"Ere sarge, I've got a perv ere. Tried to proposition me he did , in the Strand".
The Doctor was shocked and pleased to see that the man in question was Oscar Wilde.
"Now look here young man. This man is the famous author Oscar Wilde. ou don't really want to pursue this any further do you?" The Doctor asks, slipping the young policeman a victorian £20 note. The young policeman frowns:
"Alright. He can go." Oscar smiles:
"Thank you dear boy. You know you really should be less conventional in your attitudes. You remind me of a young Apollo".
The Doctor ushers Oscar out of the station:
"Mr Wilde, you are irrepressible. I'm the Doctor by the way. I'm here investigating the disappearance of some children."
"Oh yes dear boy, I've heard about this. It all started at just the same time as the Professor started dining at the Albermale Club. Nobody seems to know him, yet he suddenly became a member and started dining there. I overheard him telling the Duke of Clarence that nobody would mind if a few children went missing as it would decrease the surplas population." The Doctor grins:
"Excellent Oscar. Thats a clue. We'll go tothe Albermale club at once and see if he is there."
The Doctor & Oscar Wilde take a carriage to the Albermale Club but as they arrive they see the Professor leaving and walking off into the fog. They follow him through the streets till he comes to a large victorian house .
Meanwhile, elsewhere in London, a group of pick-pocket urchins are lurking around on a street corner comparing the wallets and hankies that they had lifted. Suddenly, out of the snow, arise three snowmen. They move quickly towards the urchins and bite into them, red blood spurting over whe white snow.....
The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to gain access to the Professor's house. Inside they are shocked to find a huge laboratory with a strange energy entity glowing in a glass tank. Out of the shadows emerge two zombies with dead eyes who grab the Doctor and Oscar:
"So , it is the great Oscar Wilde that has been following me. Who is this, your latest boy?" The Doctor frowns:
"I am the Doctor. What do you know about these missing children?" The Professor laughs:
"I serve the Great Intelligence! Until it came I was just a Professor of Medicine that nobody listened to. I had an awful childhood, my father hated me and my mother died. Women have never liked me and everytime I tried to court one they wern't interested. The world hated me so I hated the world".
"You sound like a rather bitter and twisted fellow. Just because you've had a rough life does not give you the excuse to assist an alien energy force in taking over the earth via absorbing energy through the pain inflicted on children" the Doctor firmly replied.
The Professor laughed:
"And who will stop me? Not the police. I have created a distraction for them. They are so tied up with trying to catch the Ripper that the children going missing is just a sideline."
He points to his medical bag. Oscar Wilde is furious:
"You are Jack the Ripper? You rogue".
The Professor orders the zombies to lock them in a side room:
"Soon the Great Intelligence will have absorbed enough energyto unleash a full scale absorbtion of all the children of London" he gloated.
In the side room the Doctor explained to Oscar about the intelligence and the Yeti. Then he used his sonic screwdriver to get them out of the room. The Professor had gone but the Doctor and Oscar were pursued by the zombies. Oscar threw a candlestick at them as they ran out of the house into the snow. They hailed a carriage and made for Whitechapel fast.
In a tavern in Whitechapel, young Polly Grimshaw was touting for business:
"Ere Bill, you fancy it tonight? I've got me rent to pay" she said to a swarthy villain:
"Not wiv you Polly. I've ad' you before. Try old Fagin over there"
She saw a smelly old man with a beard sitting in the corner smoking a pipe.
"No fear. I'll try me luck outside". Polly swigged down her gin and headed off into the night. Outside she walked through the streets singing music hall songs when the Professor approached her:
"Excuse me madam. I am looking for a quick fumble in the alley over there. I'll give you £5". Polly was surprised:
"£5 just for a quick fumble? Something ain't right ere". The professor pulled out a knife just as the Doctor and Oscar Wilde came around the corner and saw him. The Doctor used Venusian Akido to disarm and floor him. However as he did so, three snowmen grew up out of the snow.
"Kill them!"
The Snowmen advanced, however as they did so Oscar Wilde pulled out of his waistcoat pocket a small bottle of finest French cognac and shook it over the snowmen. Then he lit a cigar and threw it at them. The cognac caught fire and they melted. The Doctor laughed:
"Ha! Excellent work Oscar."
The Professor tried to run away however as he did so he slid over on some ice and went crashing ever the side of a bridge into the river Thames. He never resurfaced.
Later the Doctor and Oscar Wilde were discussing the case in the Albermale Club along with Oscar's friend young Lord Alfred Douglas.
"What happened when you took the police round to the Professor's house?" Lord Alfred asked.
"There was nothing there. The Intelligence... the zombies... all gone. I know that an earlier version of myself will meet the intelligence again" the Doctor replied.
"Earlier version of yourself?" Lord Alfred asked puzzled.
Oscar laughed:
"Its complicated dear boy. I'm afraid the police didn't believe us when we told them that the Professor was Jack the Ripper. So it is destined to forever remain an unsolved mystery. Anyway, its Christmas and I propose a toast to the Doctor!"
The whole club rose and toasted the Doctor.
THE END
THE SNOWMEN
London in the 1880s. The gaslights shine through the dank fog as a carriage rumbles through the dark streets of London's East End. A voice from within the carriage tells the driver to stop. Out steps the Professor (played by Richard E Grant). He looks around before taking up his medical bag and walking through the grim side streets. He sees a prostitute swigging fromr a bottle of gin in a doorway:
"Ere Mister, you looking for a nice girl?" she asks the Professor. The Professor walks towards her, lifts a long knife from out of his bag and stabs her........"
Meanwhile, elsewhere in London, the Helmswoth family are enjoying Christmas. Ernest Helmsworth is a successful Victorian businessman and the children have a nice garden to play in. They are outside playing in the snow when suddenly three snowmen grow up out of the snow, with angry eyes and dark mouths full of teeth. Little George Helmsworth screams as a snowman sinks its teeth into him and swallows him whole while his sister Emily faints and is eaten by another snowman.....
The TARDIS lands in Whitechapel and out steps the Doctor. He is sad at the departure of the Ponds and walks through the dank steets looking at police posters pinned to the walls asking for information to help catch 'Jack the Ripper'. Suddenly he spies something lying at the side of the streets. He walks up and sees that itis the body of a woman... horribly mutilated.
Later, the Doctor is at the police station giving a statement. The police sergeant comes across as inept:
"This is the last thing I need, another ruddy jezabel found done in. Who cares about them. And then theres these kids disappearing as well. Little urchins must 'ave just run away, yet I'm supposed to do something about it." The Doctor is disgusted:
"Look here man, its your job to do something about it. That poor woman had been ripped to shreds and you should be asking yourself why it is that she had to sell herself just to survive. And could you tell me exactly what children have been vanishing?"
"Ere don't get snooty with me or I'll bung yer in the cells. There 'ave been nine or ten kids go missin'recently. Last ones were the Helmswoth kids in Tite Street. Number 42. I says they've run away to to the circus or summat".
The Doctor shakes his head and determines to pay a visit to Tite Street. As he in leaving the station, he sees a young policeman ushering an older man into the building:
"Ere sarge, I've got a perv ere. Tried to proposition me he did , in the Strand".
The Doctor was shocked and pleased to see that the man in question was Oscar Wilde.
"Now look here young man. This man is the famous author Oscar Wilde. ou don't really want to pursue this any further do you?" The Doctor asks, slipping the young policeman a victorian £20 note. The young policeman frowns:
"Alright. He can go." Oscar smiles:
"Thank you dear boy. You know you really should be less conventional in your attitudes. You remind me of a young Apollo".
The Doctor ushers Oscar out of the station:
"Mr Wilde, you are irrepressible. I'm the Doctor by the way. I'm here investigating the disappearance of some children."
"Oh yes dear boy, I've heard about this. It all started at just the same time as the Professor started dining at the Albermale Club. Nobody seems to know him, yet he suddenly became a member and started dining there. I overheard him telling the Duke of Clarence that nobody would mind if a few children went missing as it would decrease the surplas population." The Doctor grins:
"Excellent Oscar. Thats a clue. We'll go tothe Albermale club at once and see if he is there."
The Doctor & Oscar Wilde take a carriage to the Albermale Club but as they arrive they see the Professor leaving and walking off into the fog. They follow him through the streets till he comes to a large victorian house .
Meanwhile, elsewhere in London, a group of pick-pocket urchins are lurking around on a street corner comparing the wallets and hankies that they had lifted. Suddenly, out of the snow, arise three snowmen. They move quickly towards the urchins and bite into them, red blood spurting over whe white snow.....
The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to gain access to the Professor's house. Inside they are shocked to find a huge laboratory with a strange energy entity glowing in a glass tank. Out of the shadows emerge two zombies with dead eyes who grab the Doctor and Oscar:
"So , it is the great Oscar Wilde that has been following me. Who is this, your latest boy?" The Doctor frowns:
"I am the Doctor. What do you know about these missing children?" The Professor laughs:
"I serve the Great Intelligence! Until it came I was just a Professor of Medicine that nobody listened to. I had an awful childhood, my father hated me and my mother died. Women have never liked me and everytime I tried to court one they wern't interested. The world hated me so I hated the world".
"You sound like a rather bitter and twisted fellow. Just because you've had a rough life does not give you the excuse to assist an alien energy force in taking over the earth via absorbing energy through the pain inflicted on children" the Doctor firmly replied.
The Professor laughed:
"And who will stop me? Not the police. I have created a distraction for them. They are so tied up with trying to catch the Ripper that the children going missing is just a sideline."
He points to his medical bag. Oscar Wilde is furious:
"You are Jack the Ripper? You rogue".
The Professor orders the zombies to lock them in a side room:
"Soon the Great Intelligence will have absorbed enough energyto unleash a full scale absorbtion of all the children of London" he gloated.
In the side room the Doctor explained to Oscar about the intelligence and the Yeti. Then he used his sonic screwdriver to get them out of the room. The Professor had gone but the Doctor and Oscar were pursued by the zombies. Oscar threw a candlestick at them as they ran out of the house into the snow. They hailed a carriage and made for Whitechapel fast.
In a tavern in Whitechapel, young Polly Grimshaw was touting for business:
"Ere Bill, you fancy it tonight? I've got me rent to pay" she said to a swarthy villain:
"Not wiv you Polly. I've ad' you before. Try old Fagin over there"
She saw a smelly old man with a beard sitting in the corner smoking a pipe.
"No fear. I'll try me luck outside". Polly swigged down her gin and headed off into the night. Outside she walked through the streets singing music hall songs when the Professor approached her:
"Excuse me madam. I am looking for a quick fumble in the alley over there. I'll give you £5". Polly was surprised:
"£5 just for a quick fumble? Something ain't right ere". The professor pulled out a knife just as the Doctor and Oscar Wilde came around the corner and saw him. The Doctor used Venusian Akido to disarm and floor him. However as he did so, three snowmen grew up out of the snow.
"Kill them!"
The Snowmen advanced, however as they did so Oscar Wilde pulled out of his waistcoat pocket a small bottle of finest French cognac and shook it over the snowmen. Then he lit a cigar and threw it at them. The cognac caught fire and they melted. The Doctor laughed:
"Ha! Excellent work Oscar."
The Professor tried to run away however as he did so he slid over on some ice and went crashing ever the side of a bridge into the river Thames. He never resurfaced.
Later the Doctor and Oscar Wilde were discussing the case in the Albermale Club along with Oscar's friend young Lord Alfred Douglas.
"What happened when you took the police round to the Professor's house?" Lord Alfred asked.
"There was nothing there. The Intelligence... the zombies... all gone. I know that an earlier version of myself will meet the intelligence again" the Doctor replied.
"Earlier version of yourself?" Lord Alfred asked puzzled.
Oscar laughed:
"Its complicated dear boy. I'm afraid the police didn't believe us when we told them that the Professor was Jack the Ripper. So it is destined to forever remain an unsolved mystery. Anyway, its Christmas and I propose a toast to the Doctor!"
The whole club rose and toasted the Doctor.
THE END
