Post by sparacus on May 14, 2023 14:41:41 GMT -5
Ok folks, here is a one-off adventure, featuring Operation Delta's Science Officer Shakey Jake Reynolds:
Shakey Jake's Journey Into Space
It was a warm spring spring morning and Shakey Jake was looking forward to spending his day off chilling out, listening to music and taking a walk in the park. The sound of Jefferson Airplane's classic album 'After Bathing At Baxters' rang out through his flat as he made himself a herbal tea and fried his bacon and eggs. The walls of his flat were covered in bookshelves where stacks of yellowing books on a wide plethora of subjects were piled on top of each other so the bookshelves sagged. Jake stooped down to pick up a copy of Herbert Marcuse's 'One Dimensional Man' which had fallen down from one of the shelves and he tossed it back on top of Timothy Leary's 'The Politics of Ecstasy'. Jake scooped the bacon and eggs onto a plate and slumped down onto the ageing sofa, moving his cat Dylan out of the way so that he could enjoy his breakfast. As he did so, the postman arrived and pushed some letters through the letterbox, Jake sighed:
"Hey man, always just when I've sat down". Dylan growled and Jake patted his head as he got up:
"Don't be uptight man".
Jake went to fetch the letters and opening them he shook his head. It was the reminder for the unpaid water bill and the unpaid gas bill. Jake tossed them onto a shelf and sat down again:
"Hey man, the establishment are hassling me again for bread. And they call this a free society." Dylan growled.
Jake sipped his tea and stared at the photos on the shelf of his three grown up children whom he rarely saw from two failed relationships and sighed. As he did so there was a knock on the door and Jake dragged himself to his feet again to answer it. Opening the door he saw the young woman from the flat upstairs, holding a baby:
"Look mate, I'm like fed up of having to ask you to turn your music down, it keeps waking the baby", she said angrily. Jake smiled:
"Hey babe, chill. Its the Airplane. Here, have a Fox's glacier mint and one for the baby". The woman shot him an angry look:
"I don't want any more of your funny mints, and your flat makes the whole block like reek of weed. Just turn the ¤¤¤¤ing ¤¤¤¤ music down". Jake sighed:
"How about I put Joni on for you babe. 'Ladies of the Canyon' or 'Blue'? I was thinking maybe you could come round here tonight and I could cook you a special spaghetti bolognese and we could chill together."
"¤¤¤¤ off you old loser. As if I'd be like interested in you. Now like turn the ¤¤¤¤ing crap music down", the woman shouted.
Later, Jake picked up his old coat and hat and set off on his walk. He turned back to look at Dylan, who had been joined by his other cat Donovan on the sofa:
"Hey I'll see you guys later, ok". The cats stared vacantly into space.
Jake walked down the streets towards the park, listening to Fairport Convention on his headphones. Entering the park, he smelt the fresh spring air and took off his hat, letting the sun shine down on his face:
"Hey man, its great to be alive", he said to himself, popping a Fox's glacier mint. Its cool flavours poured into his consciousness and he saw a kaleidoscope of myriad colours. As he walked he saw some kids playing football and decided to join in. He started dribbling the ball and the kids stared at him angrily:
"Hey give us our ball back you old ¤¤¤¤", one of them shouted.
"Weirdo", another shouted.
Jake sighed and continued on his way. A short time later he came to the boating lake and saw two young women looking out at the lake while eating ice creams. Jake smiled:
"Hey babes, I'm Jake. Do you chicks fancy hiring one of those boats and coming on a trip with me?" The girls laughed:
"Like why would we want to do that, grandad". Jake gave them a forlorn look:
"Hey babes, don't be mean. Remember, no temper, no coldness, no meanness. Which is your favourite Fairport Convention track? I have this groovy spotify on my phone. Would you like to hear 'Meet on the Ledge?"
The girls looked puzzled:
"Who? Now like push off grandad."
Jake sat down on a park bench and sighed to himself. He felt the blues descending upon him and had a couple of mints. He asked himself why chicks didn't seem to be interested in him any more and he shuffled through his spotify playlists, finding Fleetwood Mac's 'Man of the World'. As he listened to the song, a strange glow seemed to surround him and a purple haze. He felt himself being levitated through a crystal clear cylindrical tube with blue and purple colours swirling all around it. Jake found himself rising into and above the clouds , eight miles high and then higher and higher. He passed out. When Jake came round, he found himself lying on a white sofa made out of some strange plastic and his feet were being bathed by two scantily clad and nubile young women with long flowing hair. There was a bowl of grapes and exotic fruits on a silver table by the sofa. Jake smiled:
"Hey man, I must be in heaven". As he spoke two ethereal beings walked in: silver and blue with the vague appearance of young men. One of them spoke:
"We are the Armanons. We have been observing your world and we identify you as a prophet who can help us save humanity from destruction. We have come to bring peace and tranquility to your ravaged earth."
Jake stared at them in wonder:
"Hey dudes, you mean you've come to move us into the Age of Aquarius?"
"If you like, brother", an Armanon replied, "We come bringing the gift of Komar". The Armanon held out its ethereal hand which was full of blue pills:
"Take these . They will change your world forever, bringing peace and love to all humanity. We cannot descend to your world as outside of our protective craft, your atmosphere would kill us. We need you to take the Komar tablets back to earth. All you must do is throw them into water and their vapours will rise and bring peace eternal to your world. For you the Komar vapours will bring you eternal youth and restore you to your prime. But please don't eat them as that will restore you and your future descendants to eternal youth and fertility only. Throw them into a body of water and you and the entire earth will have eternal peace".
Jake smiled happily as the two nubile ladies stroked his legs:
"Hey dudes this is far out. I'll do it."
A short time later, Jake found himself descending through the cylindrical tube through the swirling purple and blue clouds and passed out again. He found himself waking up in the grass, the smell of spring air around him. Several starlings were pecking around the grass around him the sun was warm. A squirrel scurried around in the grass looking for food. Jake saw he was back in the park and lying on top of the hill, the boating lake below in the distance. He stared down at the Komar tablets in his hand and smiled:
"Hey, the Age of Aquarius is coming and today is the day we get back to the garden. But first some groovy music".
Jake searched his spotify list for 'Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' and listened to the whole album before falling asleep in the grass. He awake some time later, getting to his feet and walking down the hill towards the lake. Jake thought of the Age of Aquarius and smiled. It was only then that he realised that his hand was empty and the Komar tablets were gone. He searched his pockets frantically but found nothing.
"Hey what a heavy bummer. I must have dropped them in the grass up there when I fell asleep", he muttered to himself, rushing back towards the hill. Ascending the hill, he found the spot where he had been lying and began rooting around but could find no tablets. As he searched the group of kids who had been planing football earlier walked by sniggering. One of them shouted:
"Hey weirdo, you lost your ball?" They laughed.
After five hours of searching, Jake gave up and dejectedly walked home as the sun was setting. He opened the door of his flat to be greeted by his cats who meowing loudly for food. He stared at the pile of unpaid bills on the shelf and sighed. Having fed the cats, Jake slumped down on the sofa and switched on the TV. The news was on and Jake stared despondently at the images of war in Eastern Europe. He wondered what could have happened to the Komar tablets. Switching off the TV, he searched his playlists and listened to the Beatles' 'The Fool on the Hill'.
The years that followed saw a large growth in the squirrel population of the park and also in the volume of starlings visiting the area. Efforts by the local Council to control the populations proved to be ineffective.
THE END
Shakey Jake's Journey Into Space
It was a warm spring spring morning and Shakey Jake was looking forward to spending his day off chilling out, listening to music and taking a walk in the park. The sound of Jefferson Airplane's classic album 'After Bathing At Baxters' rang out through his flat as he made himself a herbal tea and fried his bacon and eggs. The walls of his flat were covered in bookshelves where stacks of yellowing books on a wide plethora of subjects were piled on top of each other so the bookshelves sagged. Jake stooped down to pick up a copy of Herbert Marcuse's 'One Dimensional Man' which had fallen down from one of the shelves and he tossed it back on top of Timothy Leary's 'The Politics of Ecstasy'. Jake scooped the bacon and eggs onto a plate and slumped down onto the ageing sofa, moving his cat Dylan out of the way so that he could enjoy his breakfast. As he did so, the postman arrived and pushed some letters through the letterbox, Jake sighed:
"Hey man, always just when I've sat down". Dylan growled and Jake patted his head as he got up:
"Don't be uptight man".
Jake went to fetch the letters and opening them he shook his head. It was the reminder for the unpaid water bill and the unpaid gas bill. Jake tossed them onto a shelf and sat down again:
"Hey man, the establishment are hassling me again for bread. And they call this a free society." Dylan growled.
Jake sipped his tea and stared at the photos on the shelf of his three grown up children whom he rarely saw from two failed relationships and sighed. As he did so there was a knock on the door and Jake dragged himself to his feet again to answer it. Opening the door he saw the young woman from the flat upstairs, holding a baby:
"Look mate, I'm like fed up of having to ask you to turn your music down, it keeps waking the baby", she said angrily. Jake smiled:
"Hey babe, chill. Its the Airplane. Here, have a Fox's glacier mint and one for the baby". The woman shot him an angry look:
"I don't want any more of your funny mints, and your flat makes the whole block like reek of weed. Just turn the ¤¤¤¤ing ¤¤¤¤ music down". Jake sighed:
"How about I put Joni on for you babe. 'Ladies of the Canyon' or 'Blue'? I was thinking maybe you could come round here tonight and I could cook you a special spaghetti bolognese and we could chill together."
"¤¤¤¤ off you old loser. As if I'd be like interested in you. Now like turn the ¤¤¤¤ing crap music down", the woman shouted.
Later, Jake picked up his old coat and hat and set off on his walk. He turned back to look at Dylan, who had been joined by his other cat Donovan on the sofa:
"Hey I'll see you guys later, ok". The cats stared vacantly into space.
Jake walked down the streets towards the park, listening to Fairport Convention on his headphones. Entering the park, he smelt the fresh spring air and took off his hat, letting the sun shine down on his face:
"Hey man, its great to be alive", he said to himself, popping a Fox's glacier mint. Its cool flavours poured into his consciousness and he saw a kaleidoscope of myriad colours. As he walked he saw some kids playing football and decided to join in. He started dribbling the ball and the kids stared at him angrily:
"Hey give us our ball back you old ¤¤¤¤", one of them shouted.
"Weirdo", another shouted.
Jake sighed and continued on his way. A short time later he came to the boating lake and saw two young women looking out at the lake while eating ice creams. Jake smiled:
"Hey babes, I'm Jake. Do you chicks fancy hiring one of those boats and coming on a trip with me?" The girls laughed:
"Like why would we want to do that, grandad". Jake gave them a forlorn look:
"Hey babes, don't be mean. Remember, no temper, no coldness, no meanness. Which is your favourite Fairport Convention track? I have this groovy spotify on my phone. Would you like to hear 'Meet on the Ledge?"
The girls looked puzzled:
"Who? Now like push off grandad."
Jake sat down on a park bench and sighed to himself. He felt the blues descending upon him and had a couple of mints. He asked himself why chicks didn't seem to be interested in him any more and he shuffled through his spotify playlists, finding Fleetwood Mac's 'Man of the World'. As he listened to the song, a strange glow seemed to surround him and a purple haze. He felt himself being levitated through a crystal clear cylindrical tube with blue and purple colours swirling all around it. Jake found himself rising into and above the clouds , eight miles high and then higher and higher. He passed out. When Jake came round, he found himself lying on a white sofa made out of some strange plastic and his feet were being bathed by two scantily clad and nubile young women with long flowing hair. There was a bowl of grapes and exotic fruits on a silver table by the sofa. Jake smiled:
"Hey man, I must be in heaven". As he spoke two ethereal beings walked in: silver and blue with the vague appearance of young men. One of them spoke:
"We are the Armanons. We have been observing your world and we identify you as a prophet who can help us save humanity from destruction. We have come to bring peace and tranquility to your ravaged earth."
Jake stared at them in wonder:
"Hey dudes, you mean you've come to move us into the Age of Aquarius?"
"If you like, brother", an Armanon replied, "We come bringing the gift of Komar". The Armanon held out its ethereal hand which was full of blue pills:
"Take these . They will change your world forever, bringing peace and love to all humanity. We cannot descend to your world as outside of our protective craft, your atmosphere would kill us. We need you to take the Komar tablets back to earth. All you must do is throw them into water and their vapours will rise and bring peace eternal to your world. For you the Komar vapours will bring you eternal youth and restore you to your prime. But please don't eat them as that will restore you and your future descendants to eternal youth and fertility only. Throw them into a body of water and you and the entire earth will have eternal peace".
Jake smiled happily as the two nubile ladies stroked his legs:
"Hey dudes this is far out. I'll do it."
A short time later, Jake found himself descending through the cylindrical tube through the swirling purple and blue clouds and passed out again. He found himself waking up in the grass, the smell of spring air around him. Several starlings were pecking around the grass around him the sun was warm. A squirrel scurried around in the grass looking for food. Jake saw he was back in the park and lying on top of the hill, the boating lake below in the distance. He stared down at the Komar tablets in his hand and smiled:
"Hey, the Age of Aquarius is coming and today is the day we get back to the garden. But first some groovy music".
Jake searched his spotify list for 'Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' and listened to the whole album before falling asleep in the grass. He awake some time later, getting to his feet and walking down the hill towards the lake. Jake thought of the Age of Aquarius and smiled. It was only then that he realised that his hand was empty and the Komar tablets were gone. He searched his pockets frantically but found nothing.
"Hey what a heavy bummer. I must have dropped them in the grass up there when I fell asleep", he muttered to himself, rushing back towards the hill. Ascending the hill, he found the spot where he had been lying and began rooting around but could find no tablets. As he searched the group of kids who had been planing football earlier walked by sniggering. One of them shouted:
"Hey weirdo, you lost your ball?" They laughed.
After five hours of searching, Jake gave up and dejectedly walked home as the sun was setting. He opened the door of his flat to be greeted by his cats who meowing loudly for food. He stared at the pile of unpaid bills on the shelf and sighed. Having fed the cats, Jake slumped down on the sofa and switched on the TV. The news was on and Jake stared despondently at the images of war in Eastern Europe. He wondered what could have happened to the Komar tablets. Switching off the TV, he searched his playlists and listened to the Beatles' 'The Fool on the Hill'.
The years that followed saw a large growth in the squirrel population of the park and also in the volume of starlings visiting the area. Efforts by the local Council to control the populations proved to be ineffective.
THE END