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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:11:55 GMT -5
The Alternate Series 6
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Episode 1: "PYRACANTHIA"
The Doctor, Amy and Rory are in the TARDIS interior lounge which is furnished in the style of a retro country house with wooden panelling and bookshelves. Rory is on the sofa reading while the Doctor and Amy are playing chess.
Amy: Checkmate! Ha beat you.
The Doctor: I let you win. I'm a Time Lord and can obviously beat you if I want.
Amy:[/B*laughing* Liar.
The Doctor:*looking at Rory* Hey what are you reading?
Rory: Its a book on ancient Egypt. I watched that really interesting documentary last night on the reign of the heretic ruler Akenaten stored on the TARDIS TV box.
The Doctor:Well you shouldn't believe everything you read about him. Why don't I take you back to Egypt to see for yourself? However firstly we will visit my old friend Professor Albert Hoskins at Oxford. He is an expert on Egyptology and has discovered the truth about the Akenaten reign by studying ancient hieroglyphics. He can come back with us and see for himself too.
Amy:What are you two on about? I'm hungry.
The Doctor: Well get yourself some food then. We are discussing Egyptology.
Later the Doctor is landing the TARDIS in the console room. Amy is leaning on the console:
Amy: So how did you meet this mad old professor?
The Doctor: Show some basic respect please. He is an Oxford don whom I met years ago when investigating a case with UNIT which involved having to translate some hieroglyphics. He was a great help and a good friend.
The TARDIS lands and the Doctor, Amy and Rory walk out into an OXford street. The sun is shining and the Doctor looks around smiling.
The Doctor: Ah the dreaming spires. One can almost smell the thirst for knowledge and learning among the young people and the years of history in this place.
Two students walk past and the Doctor smiles at them . They walk through the town towards Professor Hoskins 'college and the Doctor leads the way to his rooms. He knocks on the door loudly:
Hoskins *from inside* Who is it? Go away.
The Doctor: Its me, the Doctor.
The Doctor opens the door and walks in. Hoskins is sat in an armchair looking worried.
Hoskins You must get out of here. Its not safe.
As he speaks, one of the two students the Doctor smiled at in the street appears in the doorway. He is about 19 and has dark hair. He stares at the Professor.
Student: Who are these people? It is time for my seminar Professor. Get rid of these people now or.....
Hoskins:*to the Doctor, Amy and Rory* Get OUT! GET OUT!
He pushes them out, lets the student in and slams the door.
Rory: That was odd. That kid seemed to be threatening him somehow.
The Doctor leads the way to a side window and peer in. They are shocked to see the student raise his arm and a bolt of light shoots out into the Doctor's head.....................
.................. to be continued.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:13:05 GMT -5
OK folks, here is the next part of this script:
"PYRACANTHIA" cont'd
The Doctor falls to the ground stunned as the student aims his hand at Professor Hoskins' head and the bolt of light renders the Professor motionless. Then the student grabs some papers from the Professor's desk and runs out. Rory and Amy examine the Doctor, who is reviving.
Amy:Doctor are you OK?
The Doctor:*sternly* Never mind about me, go and see that Professor Hoskins is OK.
Amy and Rory rush round to the door, which the student has left open. In the room they find the Professor semi-conscious and mumbling.
Hoskins The translations.... you must stop him....get the translations back....
Amy: *to Rory* Whats he on about?
The Doctor staggers in.
The Doctor: Try to take it easy Albert. The boy has gone.
Hoskins: He has taken the translations.... the translations prove my.... my theory and much more. *grabs the Doctor's arm* She lives.... she lives.......
Hoskins' grip on the Doctor's arm fades and he stops breathing. The Doctor turns to Rory.
The Doctor: Well don't just stand there man, call an ambulance. The Professor has a weak heart.
The Doctor tries to revive Hoskins using mouth to mouth and putting him in the recovery position but it is too late.
The Doctor: Its no use, he's gone. He was a fine man.
Amy: What did he mean about these translations?
The Doctor : The Professor has developed a major academic revisionist position on the reign of Akenaten. Traditionally this ruler is seen as a heretic who changed Egyption religion from worship of multiple deities to that of a monotheistic worship of the Aten , the sun God. Professor Hoskins believed that this is untrue and that newly found hieroglyphics show that Akenaten was a traditionalist but that his wife Nefertiti was somehow able to control his mind and that she was the heretic.
........... to be continued.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:14:37 GMT -5
Ok, here is the next part of this outline pitch script:
"PYRACANTHIA" continued
The Doctor and Amy search around the Professor's rooms while they await the police and ambulance.
Amy: He certainly had a lot of books on ancient Egypt. *Takes one off shelf* 'The Heresy of the Aten' by H.E Goats......
The Doctor: That is H.E Coats Amy, Coats with a C. A fine scholar, I met him once at a dinner party. However if Professor Hoskins was right then Coats' book is somewhat out of date.
As the Doctor speaks, a young student about 19 years old appears in the doorway carrying a bunch of papers and books. He has dark hair and blue eyes (to be played by Nicholas Hoult.
Nick: Whats going on? *sees the Professor's body* Albert..... Albert .. whats happened to him? Who are you people?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor and this is Rory and Amy *gestures to a chair* You had better sit down young man as I'm afraid the Professor is dead. I take it you are one of his students?
Nick: Yes, I'm Nick Jennings.*distraught* Dead... I don't understand... what happened?
The Doctor: He was attacked by another student. Do you know of any reason why the Professor might be afraid of his students?
Nick:*wipes tears from eyes* Some of them used to make fun of Albert and his lecturing style. He talked about whatever interested him rather than what was on the scheme of lectures. The bland majority didn't like that. Most them have no imaginations or interest in the subject. But I don't see why any of them would attack Albert.
Amy: Why are you on first name terms with your Professor?
Nick: Albert understands.... understood me. He helped me deal with a lot of things and we had a connection.
Amy: Well he's dead. Get over it.
The Doctor takes Amy to oneside.
The Doctor: That was an insensitive thing to say. Can't you see the boy is upset?
He returns to Nick.
The Doctor: Do you know if the Professor was afraid of anything Nick?
Nick: There was something. He was working on research to do with his theory that Akenaten was not a heretic and that his wife Nefertiti was the real ruler of Egypt. Last summer he went to Cairo to study some artefacts and view Nefertiti's mummy. When he came back it was like he was always looking over his shoulder. He said that the mummy was not that of Nefertiti and that he was in danger. He wouldn't tell me why, which was odd as we told each other everything. Last week I was so worried about him that I took a look at his diary when I arrived here early for a seminar. It talked about something called 'The Sacred Cult of the Aten' and that it had followers here in Oxford who were out to get him. It mentioned a Professor Max Stone, one of his colleagues.
The sirens of the police & ambulance are heard.
The Doctor: I suggest that we pay this Professor Stone a visit. And then pay ancient Egypt itself a visit.........
......... to be continued.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:16:14 GMT -5
OK folks, here is the next part of my script:
"PYRACANTHIA" continued.
Nick shows the TARDIS crew to Professor Stone's office in another part of the college.
Nick: Here are his rooms. Professor Stone lectures in Ancient History and Anthropology. To be honest I never liked him and Albert helped me to transfer to another course.
Amy: What exactly was the problem between yourself and this Stone?
Nick: I felt that he had a certain intellectual arrogance that led him to be dismissive of any alternate opinions. He refused to mark my essays on the grounds that I disagreed with his interpretation of aspects of Egyptian social organisation. I suppose I agreed more with Albert.
The Doctor: Was there a serious rivalry between them?
Nick: Certainly. Stone used to mock Albert in his lectures and accuse him of intellectual frivolity. Albert could think outside the box. I knew he was someone who could understand me and help me with my issues.
They walk up to the door and the Doctor knocks. It is jerked open violently and a tall man with dark hair, aged around 40, with a brown leather jacket stands before them.
Stone: What? I'm busy.
The Doctor: Hello, I'm the Doctor. I'm afraid that I have some bad news Professor. One of your colleagues, Albert Hoskins has died.
Stone: That old fool. Ho hum. Bye.
Hoskins goes to shut the door, however the Doctor jams his foot in it.
The Doctor: Is that all you can say? You're not being very Professional sir.
Stone: Look, I didn't like him ok. Whats it to you anyway? *notices Nick* Woofter alert! He was a third rate intellect, just like the third rate students who took his courses. Nick Jennings; mediocrity personified. Happily they don't award degrees for empty headed dreaming.
The Doctor barges into the room angrily, followed by the others.
The Doctor: Look Professor Stone, I don't want to appear churlish however I will cut to the chase. Professor Hoskins believed that his life was in danger from a group called the Sacred Cult of the Aten. Have you heard of such a group?
Stone guffaws loudly and pours himself a single malt.
Stone: You wouldn't understand.
The Doctor:*shouting* Try me!
Stone: All life comes from the Aten. The Aten is more than just the power of the sun, it symbolises the spirit of true life that sleeps within us all. And soon that spirit will awaken and consume the obsolete bodies we inhabit.
Rory: *to the Doctor* This guy's off his head.
The Doctor: Agreed. *To Stone* And what Sir is your view on the mummy of Nefertiti? Is it genuine?
Stone: You really are an annoying fool. Why should I answer your questions. You would be wise not to invite the same fate as Hoskins.
Nick: What do you know about Albert's death?
Stone: Oh shut up you worm. *To the Doctor* Just leave.
The Doctor: I am shocked and disgusted by your behavior. Don't think this is the end of it.
The Doctor ushers the others out and they walk through the grounds of the college. Nick is downcast.
The Doctor: I can see how much this has hit you. Would you like to go back to your rooms?
Nick: No, I'm ok. If its alright with you, I'd like to help you investigate all this. I owe it to Albert.
Amy: Where do we go from here Doctor?
Rory: Are we going to Ancient Egypt?
The Doctor: We are indeed folks! Lead on back to the TARDIS Rory! ..................
...................... to be continued.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:17:17 GMT -5
Here is the next part of this gripping script:
"PYRACANTHIA" continued.
The TARDIS crew and Nick Jennings arrive at the TARDIS and enter. The TARDIS interior has been redesigned and now resembles the traditional design in the classic series, with white roundels. Nick gawps in awe at the inside of the TARDIS being bigger than the outside.The Doctor fiddles with the controls, however there is a juddering sound.
Amy: Whats wrong Doctor?
The Doctor: I don't know.... its as if something is jamming the inbternal workings of the TARDIS. Some exterior force.
There is more juddering and the TARDIS then goes silent. The Doctor runs around.
Nick: I must be dreaming all of this.
Amy: *laughing* We'll explain fully later. Basically the Doctor is an alien and this is his spaceship.
The Doctor: Which at the moment is grounded. Ha! I've located the problem *fiddles with a dial* . There is an exocrathethan energy beam being directed straight at the TARDIS. Projected from... *looking up alarmed* Cairo!
Amy: *leaning across the console pouting* What does this mean Doctor?
The Doctor: It means that what we are dealing with is an alien force of considerable technological advancement. They have located the TARDIS as an alien device and acted to neutralise it as a transport facility.
Rory: So we won't be going to ancient Egypt then?
The Doctor: No. I'm sorry.
Amy: What do we do then? Just sit here? Can't you get round this problem?
The Doctor: Please be patient Amy. There is no way round an exocrathethan energy blocker however there is certainly an alternative.
Amy: Like what?
The Doctor:*grinning* Good old fashioned air travel. Come on.
Amy huffs as the Doctor leads the way out of the TARDIS.
We now jump to some stock footage of a passenger plane landing at Cairo airport
Rory: Are you sure we should be doing this Doctor? The authorities have warned travellers to stay away from Egypt at the moment as there are demonstrations going on in the major cities against the Egyptian government.
The Doctor: I assure you all that I take my responsibility for your safety very seriously. However this alien threat may be serious enough to threaten the entire world and therefore we must investigate.
Nick: Albert's diary indicated that there is a mosque in the southern backstreets of the city that is the surrupticious meeting point of this Cult of the Aten.
The Doctor: Then that would be a good place to initiate our investigations.
............. to be continued.
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nick
New Member
Posts: 4
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Post by nick on Sept 12, 2012 16:18:31 GMT -5
Wow, you've based a character on me. I'm touched Spara.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:19:16 GMT -5
Here is the next part folks:
"PYRACANTHIA" continued.
The Doctor and the others walk through the streets of Cairo towards the south of the city. As they walk through a market, the Doctor turns to Nick.
The Doctor: Can you remember the name of this mosque in Albert's diary?
Nick: I think it was called the rising sun mosque.
The Doctor walks over to a stalll and tries one of the olives.
The Doctor:*to the stallkeeper* Mmmm very nice. I'll take a tub of those. Can you also tell me the route to the rising sun mosque?
The stallholder views him with suspicion.
Stallholder: Why you wanna go there? It bad place.
The Doctor: Oh? Now why do you think that?
Stallholder: It bad place. That is all I say. They not proper muslims. If you must go there it down that street *pointing* on the left.
The Doctor pays for the olives and they head off down the street. Reaching the mosque, they stop.
Amy: Well what do we do now? We can't just walk in.
The Doctor: That my dear is exactly what we are going to do. They have no reason to suspect us of being anything other than tourists.
The Doctor pushes open the door and they walk in. The interior is lit only by burning candles and is dark. They see a large painting of the sun on a far wall, surrounded by hieroglyphics and images of egyptians with jackal heads. A voice shouts out.
Voice: Who are you? What do you want here?
A bearded Egyptian appears, carrying a machete.
The Doctor: We would like to speak to the Imam. I an undetaking research for a PHD in the origins of Islam.
The bearded man laughs.
Man: They you have the wrong mosque. Try the one in the next street.
The Doctor: I get the impression that this is not a proper mosque. These images on the walls don't look very islamic.
Nick: We want to know about the Cult of the Aten. We are investigating the murder of Professor Albert......
Before Nick can finish a group of men emerge from the shadows and grab them. They manhandle them through a side door and down the corridor.
The Doctor: This is an outrage. Where are you taking us?
Man: Shut up or I slit your throat from ear to ear.
They are taken to a large room where incense burns in a massive couldren.
Amy: This stink is awful.
Nick: Oh my God. Look!
From the shadows, the figure of a woman emerges. She is dressed in ancient egyptian clothes and here eyes are glowing red.
The Doctor: Madam, please tell these thugs to unhand us.
The men force the Doctor and the others to their knees.
Man: Kneel before the sacred Empress Nefertiti!
Rory: It can't be her.
The Doctor:Oh I think it can.
Nefertiti: You will explain to me why you have come here. Then you will die.
Nick: Who are you? Really.
Nefertiti: You foolish child. I am Nefertiti. And soon I will rule this entire planet.......
........... to be continued.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:20:25 GMT -5
OK folks, here is the next part of this gripping Alternate series 6 opening story:
"PYRACANTHIA"
The Doctor steps forward:
The Doctor: Where are you from? Explain please.
Nefertiti: Ha! You dare ask me questions? Well I will indulge your puny mind for a short time before I terminate it. I came to this planet long ago. I am the last of my kind: the Revolax. My planet was destroyed in the Anotran War.
Amy: Whats she on about Doctor?
The Doctor: The Anotran War was a major conflict between two Empires in the Andromeda galaxy Amy. It involved the destruction of 436 planets. A terrible loss of life and an example to us all of the futility of imperialistic war. *To Nefertiti* please continue madam.
Nefertiti: You speak idealistic nonsense. We the Revolax came close to winning that war. When I escaped to this world my powers were weak. It has taken thousands of years to absorb the power from your sun: the Aten. Now I am ready for Pyracanthia!
Nick: What the hell is Pyracanthia? And why did Albert have to die?
Nefertiti: Ha ha ha you arrogant boychild. Soon I will destroy you. Pyracanthia is when I project my personality into every human on this planet. You will all become part of me. Your Professor was enquiring too deeply into the activities of my followers. So he was terminated.
The Doctor; I offer you the opportunity to stop this . Live your life quietly on this planet and I will not need to take action against you.
Nefertiti: Ha Ha ha , you puny fool.
Nefertiti's eyes glow red and a strange light envelopes the TARDIS crew. They grip their heads and Amy screams.
.................. to be continued.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 12, 2012 16:21:04 GMT -5
OK, here is the final part of the first episode of this alternate series. My aim is to produce a season that is superior to the televised one.
PYRACANTHIA
Amy grips her head and slowly begins to speak:
Amy: I am Nefertiti!
The Doctor: No! You must stop this now.
The Doctor stares at Nefertiti and a psychic battle ensues. A myriad of pulsating lights envelope them.
Nefertiti: I don't understand. What is happening?
The Doctor: I am a Time Lord. Your mental energy will not work on me. Stop this now before your psychic energy backfies onto you.
Nefertiti: Never. You will be mine just like these humans. You will submit to my power.
The two continue their mental battles and slowly the Doctor starts to succumb. He staggers as Nefertiti's mental energy permeates his mind. However the effort loosens Nefertiti's mental grip on the others. Nick rushes forward and pushes Nefertiti to the ground. Hitting her head, her mental power is loosened and a bolt of energy shoots from the Doctor into her. Slowly the Doctor recovers and walks towards her:
The Doctor: She is dead. The fall weakened her and her energy backfired on her causing mental seizure. I'm sorry that it had to end this way. Are you alright Nick.
Nick: Yeah, I will be in a minute.
Later the TARDIS crew are doing some sightseeing around the pyramids.
The Doctor: I much prefer seeing these things now than watching them being built. They were constructed using slave labour.
Amy: *to Nick* so are you planning to go straight back to Oxford and continue your studies?
Nick: If you don't mind, I'd like to spend a bit of time with you guys. I'd love to experience space-time travel.
The Doctor: No problem at all. We can use an extra pair of hands.
THE END
The Doctor will return in Episode 2:
"SILENT SCREAMS"
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Post by youthofoz on Sept 13, 2012 0:36:41 GMT -5
Found this on my harddrive. I don't want it. |
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Post by youthofoz on Sept 13, 2012 0:43:08 GMT -5
If Moffat considers your work canon, why did he make Nefertiti a companion who lived happily ever after rather than following your portrayal of her a generic fiesty bore power mad bitch?
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Post by sparacus on Sept 13, 2012 11:18:22 GMT -5
If Moffat considers your work canon, why did he make Nefertiti a companion who lived happily ever after rather than following your portrayal of her a generic fiesty bore power mad bitch? It was a sly & cheeky dig in my direction. |
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Post by youthofoz on Sept 13, 2012 18:36:19 GMT -5
So he thinks your work is canon and demonstrates this by completely contradicting it at every opportunity.
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Post by sparacus on Sept 16, 2012 15:12:15 GMT -5
So he thinks your work is canon and demonstrates this by completely contradicting it at every opportunity. Occasionally he deliberately alludes to and contradicts my work as a sly dig in my direction. |
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Post by youthofoz on Sept 16, 2012 18:08:25 GMT -5
Odd. He follows my continuity with slavish abandon.
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